Grandparents
Haphazardly
Butchered
By pre-med students
High on low grade marijuana
And tequila
I drink on the cheap
Spider spinning web
On my graying eyebrow
Fuck this
And
Fuck
That
Lately
I dont know whether to wind my ass
Or shit my wristwatch
The sheer volume
Of negativity
That I grapple with
Each day
Is eating me alive
From the inside
Gnawing at my spleen
Wheres my spleen?
Laughter hurts
These days
The sarcastic glimmer in my spider inhabited eye
Is far and in between
Imagine if you will
A time amongst space
Away from here
F
A
R
Away from here
Where once lived a man
Brimming with positivity
Where now stands a stone
But even a stone sweats and expands
Expressing itself in the only way it can
I still listen to slayer
At least I got that going for me
Burying feelings has become an art
Easter eggs of hurt and pain and confusion
Scattered and buried amongst my gray matter
They say you cant go home
I know this now
Home is a four letter word
No
It really is
Count the letters
Family to me
As of late
Consists of mostly strangers
Boggles the mind
But
Boggle
Is too kind a word
If boggle meant
Splayed open and dissected
Consumed
Shat out
Dissected once more
Consumed
Vomited
Another dissection
And then pummeled with knuckles of brass
It would come closer to what Im trying to convey
And where has all this left me?
I work
Sleep when I can
Watch reality TV
And have become an avid fantasy football participant
I make myself sick
If boggle meant what I described above
I would boggle myself
Where the hell have I gone?
I mean
The real me
The myself that myself has become
Is not the myself that I envisioned
No fun
No fun
No fun
No
Fun
Cant even write an immortal poem
More than once or twice a year
Used to be one or two notebooks
A year
Ive given up
FUCKING
Given up man
Im trying to crawl out of it all
I swear to god(s) I am
But it dont come easy anymore
I dont even swat the spider out of my eyebrow
At least hes fucking doing something
And who am I to shit all over that?
